Dear Fibromyalgia

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Explore effective treatments for Fibromyalgia, including medication, therapy, lifestyle changes, and holistic approaches to manage symptoms.

It’s not you, It’s me: Fibromyalgia and Relationships

Grab a cup of coffee or tea and get ready because it is about to get REAL! I have my favorite coffee in my favorite cup and I’m ready to talk about Fibromyalgia and the effects it has on our relationships.

My Story On Relationships:

I don’t know how many times I have said to family members, “It’s not you, it’s me and I’m sorry for snapping.” This is especially true of my nine-year-old. I have tried explaining to him that I am sick and I’m in a lot of pain, but I’m not sure how much he really understands. Since he is the baby of the family, he has been spoiled (yes, I’m admitting it)! Needless to say, he is used to getting his way and when we try to lay down the law -he resists. It’s on my bad days that this resisting is not something I can handle or tolerate. These are the days I snap at him.

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Maybe this is the part where you judge me, vocally or silently. Or maybe this is the part where you understand because the same thing happens in your house. Either way, I get it- I judge me too! I’m probably harder on me than any other person could be (hence chronic illness brought on by stress). Before I was really “dealing” with my illness, I think I still snapped, but didn’t really accept responsibility for my behavior. Now it’s different. I can (most of the time) recognize that I just said or did something that I wouldn’t normally, had I not been in so much pain or so exhausted. So, now I try to apologize. I don’t use my illness as an excuse though. This is why I say to my son, “It’s not you, It’s me”. I try to explain to him that his behavior needs to change but that was no excuse for me to (insert whatever I said or did).

My Thoughts On Relationship Solutions:

This post is hard to write……although I am pretending you and I are friends just sitting at a coffee shop catching up. The truth is some of the people reading this I do not know at all. It is pretty scary to put yourself out there like that for all to see. I find it just as scary for the people I do know to read this, because I haven’t told them any of this either. HOWEVER- like I said in my post Coming Out, I can’t hide from this anymore. This is just another way to remind myself that what I am going through is REAL and not just going to go away. Fibromyalgia doesn’t give a F*** about my hopes, dreams, goals or the people I love. It doesn’t care that I need to go to work, that I need to finish school or that I had plans with someone special. When Fibromyalgia takes from you, it takes what it wants, when it wants.

Taking Care of Yourself

This is why it is so important to manage stress and take time for yourself. I understand this now; even though it is still easier said than done. By letting everyone know what I’m going through, I’m no longer fighting this alone. I have learned so much from others already diagnosed. First, is that somedays you have to take it hour by hour or less if you need to. I learned that meditation can help center myself and keep my thoughts in check. Next, I learned that if I can stop living so much in the future I can manage my stress level better. Also, I have learned so much more than this, but most importantly – I learned that I am not the only one going through this. My invisible illness doesn’t have to be something I keep hidden.

My Not Really Advice On Relationships

I can’t really give any advice on the best way to deal with your personal relationships when you have Fibromyalgia. Why? Because I am still trying to figure it out. Really, I am pretty lucky! I have a supportive husband and family who understands my illness. That may not seem like much, but it really is everything. If they didn’t support me, I would be even more lost. So I acknowledge that daily and I am very appreciative for what I have, despite what the illness takes from me.

My last thought is that no one is perfect. You may snap at people and that isn’t ok no matter what you are going through. We have to take responsibility for our actions, even if our actions are driven by an illness that others can’t see. My goal is first to be up front with what I am going through in the moment, especially with my husband. If he wants to have a stressful conversation, maybe it is something that can wait. Know your limits, meaning learn what pushes you over the edge so that you can stop the situation from getting that far. In my case, maybe I know I’m hurting, so I need to alter my day to only going to one store instead of the three I need to go to. I am hoping that by understanding my limits better, I can lessen the amount of times I hurt my family’s feelings.

If we were friends at a coffee shop catching up, it would now be your turn to share. I would love to hear your thoughts and how you deal with relationships while in pain and exhausted. Please leave your story in the comments. Don’t forget to subscribe to my newsletter below so you can be the first to know when new content is published.

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For More Information Related to Fibromyalgia Visit below sites:

References:

Fibromyalgia Contact Us Directly

Click here to Contact us Directly on Inbox

Official Fibromyalgia Blogs

Click here to Get the latest Chronic illness Updates

Fibromyalgia Stores

Click here to Visit Fibromyalgia Store

02/24/2021
10 Things I wish my Co-Workers Knew about Fibromyalgia and me!
Most of the time, I would consider myself a private person. I don’t tend to put my personal business out for the entire world to see. However, since my chronic illness has taken my life hostage, I have found the courage to seek support in those around me. Except I’m not quite brave enough to share this with all my co-workers and really, I shouldn’t. Instead, for therapeutic reasons I wrote a list for me and I am sharing it with you.

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What I wish my coworkers knew about me:
1. The truth is- I have Fibromyalgia, which is a condition that involves the brain and nervous system. It is very complex and effects many parts of my body.
2. I’m in pain almost constantly. The pain is widespread all over my body, like someone has been punching me; even a slight touch or bump can be felt as if it were a punch! This is why sometimes when you pat me or hug me too hard, I wince.
3. The constant pain leads to exhaustion and not being able to sleep. Most days I wake up already exhausted, like I ran a marathon. This means that by the time I get to work, I feel like you might feel after days of no sleep.
4. My brain is overloaded by pain and sometimes-loud noises or too much stimulus can overwhelm me and make me feel confused.
5. Fibromyalgia can cause my cognitive functions to slow, meaning sometimes I just can’t find the word I’m looking for. Or it takes me longer to get to the answer than it used to.
6. The medicine I’m on makes me dizzy and sleepy and many other side effects in addition to my illness.
7. I have good days and bad days. If I’m having a good day, it doesn’t mean I’m cured or “faking it on the bad days”.
8. Relationships can be a challenge. Sometimes all this makes it hard for me to even have a conversation and if I’m rude, I’m sorry it is not intentional.
9. Please, No Drama! Stress brings on my symptoms and makes them worse. I care about you all, but I’m just here to do my work. I don’t want to be a part of any conflict.
10. I’m still me! I’m still that ambitious, competitive, over-achiever you have always known. I just need to take it in smaller doses now. I need to take time to take care of me.
There are so many people out there that have chronic pain conditions that have to go to work. I know how hard it can be and how much energy it takes you to get through it! You are NOT alone! I hope this list serves as a reminder that although we don’t want everyone we work with to know our personal business, we need everyone to know how much their kindness means. You never know what someone else is going through on the inside.

https://www.teepublic.com/stores/fibromyalgia-store

Click Here to Visit the Store and find Much More….

For More Information Related to Fibromyalgia Visit below sites:

References:

Fibromyalgia Contact Us Directly

Click here to Contact us Directly on Inbox

Official Fibromyalgia Blogs

Click here to Get the latest Chronic illness Updates

Fibromyalgia Stores

Click here to Visit Fibromyalgia Store
02/24/2021
Searching for Dr. Right- Fibromyalgia and Physicians
When you have Fibromyalgia it’s almost like the quest for Dr. Right is literally a rite of passage. So many of us “Spoonies” have been frustrated by the lack of knowledge and often kindness we experience at physician visits. I am not immune to this scenario; this actually has been a heart-breaking experience. Don’t worry though; I think it has a happy ending.

My Story

I was diagnosed in 2014 by a physician whose middle name was “judgment” (seriously). When I went to her about my anxiety, which was way out of control, she looked at me like I was crazy. I already felt crazy, so it made sense at the time that someone thought I actually was crazy! So then there was a search for a new doctor.

I found a physician that I thought was wonderful. She is a D.O. and supposed to treat the “whole person” so I thought she was going to be a good fit. Which she was until I went into a huge flare. She just threw “Fibromyalgia” drugs at me and ignored my other real symptoms like chronic anemia. She wasted so many months not really treating my health issues. However, each time I saw her I felt like she didn’t really believe me. So then there was a search for a new doctor.

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The Silver Lining

I went to a rheumatologist that had helped diagnosis my arthritis in the past. Quickly I was reminded why I stopped going to her. She didn’t really believe me either. The silver lining out of this visit was that she recommended I start seeing another specialist, like a hematologist and sleep study doctor. That actually led me to Palo Alto Medical Foundation, where every physician has treated me wonderfully and respectfully. This is where I have found a dermatologist, hematologist, primary care doctor, and rheumatologist. I finally feel hope that all of me will be taken into consideration!

For fun (not), I have made a list of hurtful things physicians have said to me since I have been diagnosed with Fibromyalgia:
1. “Just think more positively and you will feel better.”
2. “Rheumatologist just kinda got stuck with Fibromyalgia it really isn’t something we should be dealing with.”
3. “Your pain isn’t dangerous. You should exercise- your going to be in pain anyway.”
4. “My other Fibromyalgia patients are able to work.”
5. “I filled out your disability paperwork, but I won’t fill out anymore for you.”
6. “If this medicine doesn’t work, I don’t have any other options for you.”
Sharing Our Fibromyalgia Stories to Raise Awareness

These physicians were telling me they didn’t believe me with their words and actions. It is soul-crushing to have someone treat you this way, especially when you already wonder what is happening to you and how to fix it. I have been treated like I don’t want to work, not that I am physically, emotionally, and mentally unable to work. My hope is that by writing this post, I can spread more awareness of Fibromyalgia and Invisible Illnesses so that patients like me can get more support from our medical providers. We NEED more research done and more doctors to care about learning all they can about this devastating condition!

Here are just a few symptoms that people with Fibromyalgia suffer from:
1. Headaches
2. Restless Legs
3. Irritable Bowl Syndrome
4. Sensitive to temperatures
5. Depression
6. Sensitive to sounds (my husband’s constant whistling)
7. Anxiety
8. Sensitive to touch (along with rashes on the skin)
9. Sleep deprivation
10. Inability to concentrate or think clearly
11. Fibro Fog (can’t recall names for objects/people)
I share this small list again to raise awareness, the more everyone knows about this condition the more likely research will get funded. As for me, I finally found a physician that understands and is on my side to help me take better care of myself and advocate for me. That was a wonderful day and I hope all with invisible illness get to feel that feeling. We are NOT faking it and we DO want to get better! Please share this post with as many people as possible so we can spread the awareness of what we “spoonies” have to go through to get good medical care.

https://www.teepublic.com/stores/fibromyalgia-store

Click Here to Visit the Store and find Much More….

For More Information Related to Fibromyalgia Visit below sites:

References:

Fibromyalgia Contact Us Directly

Click here to Contact us Directly on Inbox

Official Fibromyalgia Blogs

Click here to Get the latest Chronic illness Updates

Fibromyalgia Stores

Click here to Visit Fibromyalgia Store
02/24/2021
Four Lessons in Parenting For Those With Fibromyalgia

Parenting is for sure the hardest job on the planet! Add a chronic pain illness like Fibromyalgia to the mix and you have a possible disaster just waiting to happen. I have been a mother for 22 years; now you might think that is a long time, but I still feel like I don’t know what I am doing. This article is to help us both feel a little better about ourselves and let go of some of the guilt. These are the top four lessons I have learned as a parent.

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Lesson 1:

You cannot be everything to everyone all the time. This means that you can’t always be “supermom” cleaning, organizing etc. Sometimes you have to let something go. I don’t know how many times people say to me, “how do you do it” when they find out I work full-time, have kids, and go to school! I always say, “Well, my house is a mess!” Don’t get me wrong; deep down it bugs the hell out of me that my house is not as clean as I would like it. However, if it comes down to playing a game with my kid or doing the dishes…..I think we all know what choice we should make.

Lesson 2:

Let your child be independent, in fact teach them how. I used to do EVERYTHING for my kids, in fact my nine year old still expects me to do things he is totally capable of doing. Teaching them how to make themselves something to eat safely, how to do simple chores is something that will help you and empower them. Trust me, on a flare day when you can barely move, you will thank me for this piece of advice. This lesson is all about thinking ahead and preparing, both for you and your child. An example of something my son can do is get his clothes ready for the next day. He knows he needs to clean out his own lunch box and not leave it for me to do. This isn’t perfect, but we are still working on it. Good news, last night he put his pile of laundry away without me even asking- success!!

Lesson 3:

Talk to your child about your illness. This might seem daunting and you might not know where to start. It really does depend on your child’s age. However, one thing I noticed is that my nine year old understood so much more than I thought he did. He said to me that my illness prevents him from enjoying certain things. So I asked him what he thought it prevented me from doing. He was so thoughtful about his answer; he knew that it put me in pain and made it hard for me to do the fun stuff we always want to do. When I am in a lot of pain, I try not to complain about it, but I do let him know this is a bad day. If I snap at him, I remind him that it’s me, not him.

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Lesson 4

This last lesson is one I found on accident, but might just be the best one. I promise to always tell my kids the truth! Talking to them by asking them open-ended questions helps to minimize the one word answers. I remind them how their actions might make someone else feel. This isn’t about making your chronic illness easier, but now that I have older children I am reaping the rewards of these actions. Creating an atmosphere where my kids feel comfortable talking to me about anything (even scary things) gives me peace of mind! My kids know that no matter what they can come to us, especially if they need help.

Like I said, parenting is the hardest job on the planet! Having a chronic illness means you need to make more time for yourself. If you remember that you can’t be everything to everyone, you teach your child to be independent, talk to your child about your illness and be honest with your child then you are doing the best you can! I would love to hear what you have learned as a parent with a chronic illness, please share in the comments below.

https://www.teepublic.com/stores/fibromyalgia-store

Click Here to Visit the Store and find Much More….

For More Information Related to Fibromyalgia Visit below sites:

References:

Fibromyalgia Contact Us Directly

Click here to Contact us Directly on Inbox

Official Fibromyalgia Blogs

Click here to Get the latest Chronic illness Updates

Fibromyalgia Stores

Click here to Visit Fibromyalgia Store

02/24/2021
Fibromyalgia Causes & 10 Ways to Improve Health
Although the exact cause of Fibromyalgia is not known, there are enough people with the condition to have several possible causes with positive correlations. Sadly, correlation does not mean causation! So what caused my Fibromyalgia? Personally, I know exactly why I have the condition. It directly correlates with some of my life choices. That is not to say I would not have developed the condition either way, however if anyone can learn from my mistakes I am happy to share my experience.

Fibromyalgia Causes Research

According to a WebMD article, “What Causes Fibromyalgia?” there are several possible causes which include genetics, diseases such as arthritis, trauma or abuse, depression and anxiety, PTSD, gender and not exercising enough. The article states that fibromyalgia patients have more cells that carry pain to the brain than someone who does not have the condition. So, with all this information, for me, it is easy to see why I have this ghastly condition.

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It is as if I created a perfect storm for my body to fall apart on me. It could have been any number of the causes above, or even all of them. I do have family members with Fibromyalgia. Sadly, I have experienced trauma and abuse in my life as too many of us have. Arthritis is one of my diagnoses and I have suffered from depression, I would say all of my life. Although anxiety was there as a teen it became very prevalent mostly in my adult life. Having a desk job for twenty years and not exercising enough for sure had something to do with my current condition.

Like many people out there, we have lived paycheck to paycheck just barely surviving for most of our marriage. I had to work sixty-hour weeks just to barely pay the bills. I know deep in my heart that working so hard for so long, being under such deep stress for so long, and not taking time to take care of myself is the main reason why I am so sick now. You might be saying to yourself right now, “Well if you know what you did wrong, you must know how to treat yourself now then!” If only changing habits was that easy.

My 10 goals to change my bad habits and take care of myself:
1. Commit to daily exercise at least 15 minutes a day.
2. Try to be more cognizant of what I put into my body.
3. Practice meditation daily!
4. Reevaluating my current work situation.
5. Taking a semester or two off from working on my BA.
6. Changing my mind-set when I do go back to school to manage my stress better.
7. Take more time for me, such as getting a pedicure, massage etc.
8. Cut myself slack when I don’t complete my “To Do List” for the day or even the week.
9. Remind myself I can’t be EVERYTHING to EVERYONE and it’s ok to say NO.
10. Forgive myself, when I can’t do the list above.
There is a lot of research on what causes cancer, diabetes, and obesity to name a few. There is not really much research on what causes fibromyalgia. When we find out something we are eating may cause cancer, some of us will stop eating it. Research results tend to help us make needed changes in our lives. That is why continued research on fibromyalgia is so important! The more we know about causes, symptoms and treatments, the more likely we can prevent it and possibly reverse the effects.

I urge you to get involved with International Support Fibromyalgia Network to support more education and research for Fibromyalgia.

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Fibromyalgia currently has no cure. However, it doesn’t have to be a prison sentence. I challenge you to make a 10-goal list for yourself! What do you have control over? What can you change for yourself today? Your list will be different than mine and it should be. I really hope you take me up on this challenge and please share your list in the comments! Let’s support each other on this one, and find out how to make our selves feel better, even if for a day or an hour. As always, I am sending much love and gentle hugs to my fellow “spoonies” and “fibro warriors”.

https://www.teepublic.com/stores/fibromyalgia-store

Click Here to Visit the Store and find Much More….

For More Information Related to Fibromyalgia Visit below sites:

References:

Fibromyalgia Contact Us Directly

Click here to Contact us Directly on Inbox

Official Fibromyalgia Blogs

Click here to Get the latest Chronic illness Updates

Fibromyalgia Stores

Click here to Visit Fibromyalgia Store
02/24/2021
My Love/Hate Relationship With Taking a Shower

I didn’t always hate taking a shower. Before I had Fibromyalgia I probably even loved it. It has always been the thing that wakes me up in the morning and makes me feel good. However, now there is more of a love/hate feeling towards the shower. If you have Fibromyalgia or any other chronic pain condition, you probably already know what I’m going to say. If you don’t have a chronic condition then you are in for a treat; a peak into the daily torture I go through.

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So, since I have to go to work still and I love my co-workers, I have to shower. It is still the thing I need to wake me up that early in the morning. My day starts with me sitting on the edge of the bed, taking an inventory of the pain. I know this sounds weird, but I have to acknowledge it in my brain before I stand up or it catches me off guard. Once I take some deep breaths and some self talk (“ugh, I don’t want to”, “shut up and do it”) I get up and let the dogs out. Then I go into the bathroom and get into the shower. Since I’m so stiff and in so much pain, the hot water is soothing. I do what I need to do in there and then I do some stretches.

You might be saying, “Suzanne, you stretch in the shower, why?” Yes I do everyday because I have to. This is the best place for me to get a little stretching in and wake up my muscles. Since my goal everyday is to do yoga before I leave for work and that NEVER happens, this is my time. Now that was the easy part of getting ready and believe me, it wasn’t really easy for me.

Once I am out of the shower and dry off and get my PJ’s back on (yes, I put those back on) I have to rest. Oh I forgot one important and taxing part- I have to brush my wet hair out so it doesn’t dry in tangles. This is the part that takes the most energy. Now with all that done, I have to go sit on the couch and rest. Heaven forbid the days that I couldn’t get out of bed on time because of exhaustion or pain because I still have to go through this process regardless.

Once I have rested a bit, now comes the hard part, I have to brush my teeth AND blow-dry my hair. I know this sounds stupid, but it is so hard to do. Think of it this way, if you work out a lot, lift weights or do a bunch of push-ups, you get sore right? Then if you try to lift your arms, it is difficult, even painful? Well, this is my daily life and I didn’t lift any weights- we won’t even speak about what it feels like when I have done some push-ups (yes, I can do some push-ups).

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Now that I am good and exhausted, it is time to go to work. When I was home on medical leave, there were many days in a row that I didn’t even shower (embarrassing I know). It took all I had some days to make it from the bed to the couch. This is why we (chronic illness sufferers) are called “warriors” because most days we fight past all that I just mentioned and get through our day. It is ok if we are not able to, but when we do it can feel like a victory over an illness that is trying to take over our life!

I would love to hear your comments below. If you are Warrior- how do you get through your morning routine? Is it similar to mine or different, I would love to know. Are you a Warrior supporter? I would love to hear how this article helps you better understand the person you are supporting. As always, gentle hugs to you, push when you can- rest when you need it.

https://www.teepublic.com/stores/fibromyalgia-store

Click Here to Visit the Store and find Much More….

For More Information Related to Fibromyalgia Visit below sites:

References:

Fibromyalgia Contact Us Directly

Click here to Contact us Directly on Inbox

Official Fibromyalgia Blogs

Click here to Get the latest Chronic illness Updates

Fibromyalgia Stores

Click here to Visit Fibromyalgia Store

02/24/2021
A Daughter’s Perspective On Fibromyalgia

This is a special guest post from my twenty-two year old daughter. She and I have a very complicated relationship. Katie is very much like me and I have to say arguing with yourself sometimes can be annoying. However, with all our similarities and differences, we are very close and she knows she can always count on me.

I have tried to hide my illness for so long and I think that when I couldn’t hide it anymore my kids didn’t know what was happening to me. They have always been used to their mom handling everything, juggling everything with ease. The following post is my daughter’s perspective of my illness and how it has affected her personally.

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My mom was diagnosed with Fibromyalgia while I was away at college in 2014. When I moved back in with my parents after having been away for some time, the dynamics in the house were really different and I struggled to reacquaint myself into the household. My old room was overtaken by my younger brother and I began sharing a room with my littlest brother. My dad was unemployed for a bit and mom was constantly either at work or doing homework at her desk. My parents were all “lovey-dovey” which was cringe-y and sweet at the same time. I had never seen them so happy. With the happiness came a newfound consideration for each other and dad started helping mom through her fibromyalgia/doing things around the house more.

When I came back, I seemed to cause havoc just by existing in the house. Morning routines were inadvertently interrupted on more than one occasion because of avoidable misunderstandings. I would come in late after being out and the dogs would bark, waking up my family. My little brother would worry about me when I didn’t come home before he fell asleep or if I spent the night somewhere else. If I wasn’t at work or school, I was at a friend’s house. For the longest time, even though I lived with my family or lived just a few miles away, they rarely actually saw me. Sadly I was insensitive of my family’s own issues because I was so invested in my own. All of this was only adding to my mom’s stress and I was not fully conscious of it. Since my mom and I are so similar, we also could barely have a conversation without arguing. It took awhile for me to take a step back and realize how my actions were affecting my family so I could start making the necessary changes within.

I’ve been in and out of my parent’s house a couple times over the past several years, trying to find my footing and regain my independence. Being preoccupied in my own 22 year old bubble, I didn’t realize just how bad things were for my very own Fibro Cure. For a few years she pushed through it, working full time and even going to school part-time via online/night classes. She got her Associates Degree from Ohlone College and was on her way to get a Bachelors from Penn State online. She was actively pursuing her goals and I couldn’t have been more inspired by her efforts. She was innately teaching me and my brothers that hard work is worth it and dedication yields results. Although now I would say I’m more inspired by her resilience and perseverance through living with such a painful illness. In how hard she fights, she’s teaching me and my brothers to never give up and that life is worth living, even if it sucks sometimes.

For years, I didn’t understand Fibromyalgia because I didn’t see the effects of it or how serious it really was. My mom handled it that well. I only woke up from my confusion regarding the illness when mom recently took a leave of absence from work and school because she was too sick to do much of anything. Truthfully, I still don’t understand the illness fully. My mom explained it the other day as being sore after a workout, but all the time, everywhere, without having done anything strenuous. Some days are worse than others. That description helped me understand her pain a bit better because I work out a lot. Ultimately, since I didn’t see the illness before, it was easy for me to pretend it didn’t exist and that my mom was fine–maybe just a bit irritable or moody at times. I didn’t want to acknowledge it because it made it that much more real that I could get it, too, someday.

Some of my female family members have fibromyalgia so the odds aren’t exactly in my favor. Because of this, I need to take all of the preventative measures I can. It’s upsetting seeing the manifestation of an illness in someone I love; especially of one that I too can develop. Frankly it scares me because it seems so debilitating. It would be completely out of my control if I did have it just as it was completely out of my mom’s control when she was diagnosed.

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I know I don’t make things any easier on my mom when I’m out all the time or getting snippy with her when she gets snippy with me. I have to actively remind myself that her reactions to things and her words aren’t intended for me personally; that she has a chronic illness that she has to live with everyday, for the rest of her life. I’ve been working on being more patient and considerate with my mom, now that I understand her situation a little better. I can only hope that by continuing to make my own emotional, mental, and physical health a priority, I will be able to better support my family.

https://www.teepublic.com/stores/fibromyalgia-store

Click Here to Visit the Store and find Much More….

For More Information Related to Fibromyalgia Visit below sites:

References:

Fibromyalgia Contact Us Directly

Click here to Contact us Directly on Inbox

Official Fibromyalgia Blogs

Click here to Get the latest Chronic illness Updates

Fibromyalgia Stores

Click here to Visit Fibromyalgia Store

02/24/2021
6 Ways To Be Thankful While Having Chronic Illness

Every year my family goes around the table and says what they are thankful for. Even though this year has been my worst. I am determined to stay positive. Finding the things I am grateful for (even if it kills me) will happen. I often find myself feeling sorry for myself and wondering why I have a chronic illness that there is no cure for and that the medical community barely understands. Yet, I need to remind myself that everything happens for a reason. It is important to find the silver lining so I am able to live a fulfilled life.

Here are 6 ways you can try to find gratitude this holiday season:

1. Try to focus on the “good” days. I am thankful for the days that pain is less than a 6 (on a stupid 1-10 scale). To me this number represents the fact that the pain is still there but I can push myself. I can still do the activities I need to do and there might not be consequences. The reason I say might is because I’m still in the dark on what I can do and feel ok the next day and what causes me being immobile. I say this cause I don’t seem to find a pattern yet.

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2. The days when “normal” activities are tolerable. I am thankful for the mornings I wake up, take a shower (see my love/hate relationship with taking a shower), go to work and don’t feel like I need to get right back in bed. This is something I feel a lot, so when it doesn’t happen, it is truly special and something to cherish. Really I should start paying attention to how often this happens so I can focus more on that than on the days when it doesn’t happen.

3. Notice the little things in life that bring you joy. I am thankful for coffee! Without coffee, I do NOT know how I could go on. I know, I am so addicted but it is better than alcohol or drugs….right? I drink my coffee black so there aren’t a lot of extra calories in there. Sometimes, coffee and I don’t get along though. I sometimes get stomach aches from drinking coffee or having too much of it. So to avoid this I try to just have one cup at the most two a day, but if it weren’t for my stomach I could be drinking it all day long. Seriously!

4. The people who “pick you up” on a daily basis. I am thankful for my family. My mom always supports me NO matter what (see October’s gratitude letter). She is for sure my number fan and I can always count on her. My husband is my rock (see my gratitude letter to my husband). He is the one that picks up my slack and makes sure I don’t forget things (lol – it used to be the other way around). My kids are my joy in life. I love them to death and I love watching them grow up. Although, it also makes sad because I miss my kids being babies (sometimes).

5. The people who also live through chronic illness. I am thankful for my chronic illness community. Without them, I am not sure what kind of mess I would be in. They cheer me on, support me and most of all accept me. My chronic illness community doesn’t ask anything in return of me, yet I give it. They understand how I feel without me even saying it because they go through similar experiences as I do. There is no back-stabbing or drama, it is just people lifting up other people and it is so beautiful. Please visit these links to only some of the people who have supported me.

6. The people who choose to be there for you. I am thankful for friends (which by the way the list in #5 are also considered my friends). There are not many but its ok because the ones I do have are very good.

a. My oldest and dearest friend Jennifer (you know who you are) has been my best friend since we were like 13 ( I think). This isn’t a relationship I have to work at, it isn’t one where I will be judged. We have gone years without talking sometimes, yet when we finally do talk it is like we never missed a beat.

b. My sister is someone that I consider to be a best friend as well. We are so different, but I always know that no matter what she will be there for me. I wish location wise we were closer, but in the end it doesn’t really matter because if she ever needed me I would walk a million miles for her.

c. My co-worker and I used to sit right next to each other(literally we were in the same cubicle) and she is also like a sister to me. Nicole has always shown me love and support in everything I do. She is like my personal cheerleader, yet I know she will give me her honest opinion. I call her a sister because we could disagree with each other and know that wasn’t going to change how we feel about each other.

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There is so much more I am thankful for, however, I have some Fibro Fog right now and can’t think anymore. Now you know, I am not always positive and thankful. However, whenever I find myself drifting off that path the above 6 reasons are what bring me back. If you are in the same situation as me, or worse, I encourage you to try to do this same practice. If it helps, write down your 6 or more things you are grateful for and keep them someplace you can see them. Being able to read them every day will head off the blues, and when it doesn’t then read them out loud.

As always I would love to hear what you are grateful for, please continue the discussion in the comments below! I answer back ALL comments.

https://www.teepublic.com/stores/fibromyalgia-store

Click Here to Visit the Store and find Much More….

For More Information Related to Fibromyalgia Visit below sites:

References:

Fibromyalgia Contact Us Directly

Click here to Contact us Directly on Inbox

Official Fibromyalgia Blogs

Click here to Get the latest Chronic illness Updates

Fibromyalgia Stores

Click here to Visit Fibromyalgia Store

02/24/2021
Fibromyalgia & Mental Health

**Subject matter in this article may be a trigger for depression, suicide & self harm.**

This is a post I have been thinking about for a while but couldn’t decide if I wanted to actually write it. Writing about my physical illness is hard enough, but my mental status feels even more intimate. Can I make myself even more vulnerable than I already have? Can I say anything that would be helpful to anyone else, or will this just be an outlet for myself? These are important questions to ask, because although I get to let my feelings out in this blog I want to do it in a way that helps others. So, let’s look at the connection between fibromyalgia and mental health.

First, we must accept that Fibromyalgia and mental health is one of those “chicken and the egg” type of categories.

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My History of Depression

I have suffered from depression for a very long time, possibly my whole life. I was always a shy child and often felt alone. As a teenager my depression went to a very dark place. The depression was so debilitating that I couldn’t even feel anymore. I turned to cutting myself, just to feel something. Granted the feeling was pain, but at the time it seemed better than numbness.

With the help of my mother and a therapist, I was able to pull myself out from the darkness. However, it would not be the last time I would go there. I have been so depressed that I thought dying would be better than my current despair. Thankfully I never took that step. When I had my first child, I think I suffered postpartum depression but was so used to feeling depressed that I didn’t realize I needed help. In this case, my beautiful daughter was the one that pulled me out from that darkness (not sure she evens knows that).

My Fibromyalgia & Mental Health

This last year has been my first huge fibro flare (since diagnosis in 2014) that I have had the worst time overcoming. Depression and fibro feel so similar sometimes that it’s hard for me to tell which one is affecting me. They both make my body, mind and spirit hurt. The pain feels like I have heavy rocks strapped to my body and I’ve been thrown in a body of water. At first, I fight it, but then I get so tired, so overwhelmed, I just let it take over me.

Fibromyalgia Cure New Series

Both these subjects Fibromyalgia and Mental Health mean so much to me since they affect me so personally. Thanks to social media I understand that I am not the only one fighting these battles. For this reason, the mingling of these subjects will now be a series on this blog. You can come here to find comfort and support and hopefully some answers. I will continue to tell my story and the story of others. I will also be reaching out to professionals for answers. If you would like to share your story or have questions you would like me to ask and find the answers to please send me a private message. You can do so under the contact me tab in the menu, or leave a comment below.

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Please do not feel alone. If this post has triggered you in any way, please reach out to me. I am listing the national suicide line here for support as well. Always seek the help of a professional in an emergency.

National Suicide Prevention Line: Call 1-800-273-8255

Crisis Text Hotline: 741741

**I am not a physician and this post along with any of my posts is not intended as medical or mental health advice. Please seek the help of a professional if you are experiencing any physical or mental illnesses.

https://www.teepublic.com/stores/fibromyalgia-store

Click Here to Visit the Store and find Much More….

For More Information Related to Fibromyalgia Visit below sites:

References:

Fibromyalgia Contact Us Directly

Click here to Contact us Directly on Inbox

Official Fibromyalgia Blogs

Click here to Get the latest Chronic illness Updates

Fibromyalgia Stores

Click here to Visit Fibromyalgia Store

02/24/2021
5 Ways To Ease Mom Guilt Quickly
Mom Guilt (Dad Guilt), we all have had it at one time or another. I know this because we can’t all be perfect, so sometimes we are going to mess up or disappoint our kids. Even the healthiest of moms (dads) is going to have some mom (dad) guilt over her (his) inadequacies. However, having a chronic illness like Fibromyalgia and being a mom (dad) comes with its own set of “mom (dad) guilt feelings”. I am going to tell you what I feel guilty about and what I do to feel better.

First, a little about me as a person and a mom:

If you haven’t read my About Me page yet, you can click link, but let me tell you a little about me. I have three children age 22, 17 and 9. I have been a mom since I was 21 years old (so pretty much my whole adult life). This is important to know because I feel I was a horrible mother at first. Like all of us, I had no idea what I was doing. I thought I was ready for my daughter, but I don’t think I was. To make matters worse, I was struggling on and off with depression and anxiety. I was diagnosed with Fibromyalgia in 2014 and that is when motherhood got a little more complicated for me.

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“I’m not a good enough Mom (Dad)”!

I often feel like I’m not good enough. This might be different for everyone, but I have a feeling many will relate to my list.
1. Not being able to do activities that my child wants me to do. This is a hard one to deal with emotionally because mentally I know I want to be active with my son. There have been times when he wants to go somewhere and I just cannot do it or he wants to play a game that I’m too exhausted to play. These are the times I feel like “not enough”.
2. Not spending enough one on one time with my kids. This guilt feeling is not only due to my Fibromyalgia, but the fact that I have been working full time and attending school part time for the last six years. If I wasn’t at work, I was at school or at the table doing homework. This has been hard on everyone in the family and a huge weight I bear. In fact, this one alone could be its own blog post (maybe later).
3. Not serving healthy meals. There have been so many nights where I am just too tired to cook or even eat anything for myself. So, I will make something quick like Top Ramen noodles or a hot dog. This makes me feel guilty because there are no vegetables and it isn’t the healthiest. I made a mistake when raising my kids (I can admit it). I allowed them to be picky and never forced them to eat what they didn’t want to. So now my 9 year old pretty much hates all food that is good for him.
4. I worry that genetically I will give my kids Fibromyalgia. I’ve already handed down my mental health issues and those are bad enough. There is an enormous amount of guilt that comes from watching your child suffer, whether it was knowingly your fault or not.
How to combat the Mom (Dad) Guilt

Now, you know why and how I feel guilty as a mom, let me tell you how to get over it or at least not let it eat you alive. This part is important because whether you are sick or not, you are going to make mistakes as a parent. The only thing you can do is own it, pick yourself up and learn from it.
1. Recognize what you are or are not doing that is causing you guilt. For me, an example of this would be not being able to do the things I want to do with my son.
2. Ask yourself why it makes you feel guilty. I know I feel guilty because my son is disappointed and we are missing out on experiences.
3. Ask yourself if there is anything you can do to fix it or make it better. I brainstorm ideas on things we can do instead or on a different (better health) day. If I can I bring this up to my son, only if my idea is something we can do right then. I have learned to not promise too much in the way of commitments. Really, if I can’t physically do something right now, why do I think I can do it later at an unknown date?
4. If there is something you can do, then try to do it. If there isn’t (like genetics) then you have to let it go! I know easier said than done. One way I use to let go of things I cannot control is by meditating. While meditating I visualize what I need to let go of and when I breath out I let it go out with my breath.
5. Forgive yourself. This is an important step in letting the guilt go. You are not going to be perfect, but guess what? Your kids are going to love you anyway. They may even begin to understand you as they get older.
Learning From Parenting

I have learned so much being a parent for 22 years. I have learned that although it is important to plan, one must be ready to improvise. Also, parenting is probably THE hardest job on the planet and it is one that you have to learn while on the job. The most important point to remember is to learn from your mistakes, grow from your mistakes and love yourself no matter what.

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If you are a person with a chronic illness and you are a parent, you deserve more slack. Whether anyone else is going to give it to you is unknown, however you can give it to yourself. The challenges you face everyday just to get through your day are commendable. Add being a parent to that day and let’s face it- you are a Rock Star! There is no reason why you cannot still learn, grow and love – you just might take a little longer or go a different route than others.

If you found this article helpful, please comment below. If you know someone that needs to hear this message please share this article. Please subscribe below so you don’t miss the next segment in our “Parenting with a chronic illness series”. We will be talking about ways to entertain your child while in a flare.

https://www.teepublic.com/stores/fibromyalgia-store

Click Here to Visit the Store and find Much More….

For More Information Related to Fibromyalgia Visit below sites:

References:

Fibromyalgia Contact Us Directly

Click here to Contact us Directly on Inbox

Official Fibromyalgia Blogs

Click here to Get the latest Chronic illness Updates

Fibromyalgia Stores

Click here to Visit Fibromyalgia Store
02/24/2021